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The Gønelid Chronicles

by Chantal, Erik, Hild, Mynd, Nicolaj and Rob

December 2000 - January 2001

Celebrating the new millennium in a Norwegian cabin (hytte as pictured below)
- with no electricity, no running water (apart from outside) and no WC....


the Hytte Saga the Hytte Cookbook Nicknames Keywords

The Hytte Saga
We came to Grønelid for the end of the Millennium
a select few - we wouldn't have just anyone.
Twelve were invited but only half arrived
(and we're happy to say that all six survived).

From the very beginning four members were lost,
none of the four ever left Oz.
Canberra called for Bruce and for Lizzie,
while Stewart and Patty were suddenly busy.

For the rest of the gang our expectations were high -
the arrival of Marta and Nina was nigh.
While the snow came as ordered, so did a gale,
The odds were high that others would bale.

One by one the calls all came through
a motor was blown, the roads were closed too.
The news came on a mobile held up in the air
by Hild, on one foot, on top of a chair.

So let me introduce our remaining little set
who huddled together in the cold and the wet.
Hild who could carry her own weight in supplies
and Rob whose coaching skills were quite a surprise.

Mynd was the Aussie and Erik the Swede
(when all's said and done, they're both a strange breed).
Chantal and Nicolaj, a young Danish couple,
were always together (and not always subtle).

When skiing cross country lost some of its thrill
Some members voted to try it down hill.
So to Hovden we went in the wind and the cold
where the slopes were open for the brave and the bold

Rob split his pants but that's hardly news
others sat in the cafe enjoying the views.
Hild left her seat, to save a small child -
a spectacular catch - spectators went wild.

There were pools at Badeland - we went there twice
once after skiing and once after ice-
skating that is and though Erik was boss
there's no way in the world he's Johan Olav Koss

Time flies so fast when you're having such fun
we swam and we saunered till there was no sun.
With lights on full beam we managed to park
but no one had mentioned a ski in the dark.

Four forged ahead - they found their own way,
while Hild with a torch tried to lead Mynd astray.
Although it was dark the night was still young
we stayed up until happy birthday was sung.

Next day (minus twenty) five left for a picnic.
They soon needed a fire and Nicolaj fixed it.
But Erik was doomed to remain under fed
as Hild knocked his lunch in the fire instead

They skied back to the hytte where they'd left Mynd to clean
on her birthday as well - that was ever so mean.
At five pm the party started to thunder
when we knew that new year had started down under.

We cooked a trout in more ways than one.
We ate it with gusto until there was none.
We drank champagne, red wine and white.
We toasted to all - including Kuwait. 		But we started too early and energy waned.
Something drastic was needed to counter the strain.
Nicolaj said "A run in the snow"
and with no better suggestion we gave it a go.

The five laps of the hytte ended in two
when a snow fight erupted out of the blue.
Six little snowmen returned to be warmed
but exertions weren't over - a conga line formed.

At last it was midnight and fireworks flew
and Erik quickly put on his shoes
Champagne corks banged - and Mynd's camera flashed
Songs were sung and tables were bashed

With sparklers, confetti bombs, whistles and streamers,
We sang and we danced and lifted our femurs
The problem was that our choice it was small
So we sang Happy Birthday to one and all

On the first day of Jan the Danes up and went
five days in the hytte they'd already spent.
Lucky for them, for in less than a day
an avalanche of snow had blocked off the way.

Without Nicolaj we didn't dare go
outside to cook our lunch in the snow.
Inside round the fire - snags, lefse and bacon
and speiderbrød - yum - cooked with a stake in.

On Wednesday Rob stumbled off with the sled
we needed refilling from the watering shed.
He wasn't to know that his work was in vain
when next day he poured it all out again.

On Wednesday we'd planned to visit civilisation,
but first a little light recreation.
The car was snowed in, we had to dig,
Rob lay on the bonnet, because he's so big.

We slid down the road, both left and right
and at the bottom a flashing light.
There was no-one in sight and the Bom was shut
The avalanche meant our access was cut.

With all our clothes still left on the hill
we were facing a night in the cold and the chill.
But then mum and dad offered us beds
and we were offered the scooter - complete with sled.

Behind the scooter scared out of their senses
Rob and Hild fetched clothes but left Erik's lenses.
On Thursday the roads were opened, great!
We cleaned up the hytte with still time to skate.

With one day to go there were still things to do
we borrowed four horses - one missing a shoe.
Even Erik agreed that riding was fun
that is until Felemon started to run.

There was so much luggage with this and with that
we needed a car and Postman Pat.
With Rob, Hild and Erik filling the train
there was no room for Mynd so we needed a plane.

We came we skied we ate we skated
and some of the comments were rather X-rated.
It was such a trip it must be repeated
because after all we'd not been defeated.
January 2001


the Hytte Saga the Hytte Cookbook Nicknames Keywords

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The Hytte Cookbook

  • Speider brød
      Ingredients:
    • 2 cups of flour
    • a little salt
    • 1 tsp baking powder
    • enough water to make a firm dough

      Process:
    1. Mix all ingredients to make the dough
    2. Wrap some dough around a stick or a sausage-on-a-stick
    3. put it on the fire till it's cooked

  • Bacon&Sausage on stick
      Ingredients:
    • Bacon in strips
    • Sausages (cooked ones)
    • Stick (see below)

      Process:
    1. Send Erik to make sticks (two prongs)
    2. pierce one end of the bacon
    3. then pierce the sausage with same prong of stick
    4. wrap bacon around sausage
    5. repeat piercing of bacon and sausage with other prong
    6. put on fire quick before Hild knocks it out of your hands
    7. leave in fire till finished/black

  • Mum's kransekake
      Ingredients:
    • 500 gr ground almonds
    • 500 gr icing sugar + some for decoration
    • 4.5 eggs
    • if you don't have those special tins, you're stuffed (ask Rob)

  • Mum's stuff with bread-crumbs on
      Process:
    1. Chop up smoked lamb (see spekemat) or ham
    2. Cook macaroni in milk till really soggy
    3. Beat egg whites stiff
    4. Mix with meat and macaroni
    5. Put in an oven proof dish and cover with breadcrumbs
    6. Cook in oven till done
    7. eat with boiled potatoes and melted butter (and the odd carrot)

  • Spekemat
      Process:
    1. Catch lamb (may need Shamu and Lizzie for help)
    2. cut off one back leg, keep leg (let lamb go)
    3. salt leg (of lamb) for 3 days
    4. smoke (leg of) lamb for 1 week (remember to exhale)
    5. Einar's got a dinky house for this purpose
      While waiting, make brau:
    • 2 kg wholemeal flour
    • 3 cups of rye flour
    • 1 cup of flour
    • water to make a firm dough

      Process:
    1. roll out 40 really thin circular 50 cm diameter shapes (leivar)
    2. cook on same sized hot plate till finished (ask Adelheid)
    3. break off some brau
    4. put some rømme (sour cream) on brau
    5. slice leg of lamb (the smoked one) - in total: yum

  • Erik's marzipan
      Use only the finest
    • chocolate,
    • marzipan,
    • nuts,
    • nougat,
    • dried fruits and
    • other sickly sweet things.

      Process
    1. Let your imagination go wild
    2. (or ask Camilla for advice)
    3. Make enough to last Xmas and New Year (i.e. leftovers)

  • Chantal's buns (oh eh?!) :o) (makes 20 pcs)
      Ingredients:
    • 2 dl boiling water
    • 100g (1½ dl) wholemeal flour
    • 50 g yeast
    • ½ dl warm water
    • 2 dl junket ('ymer')
    • ½ tblspn salt
    • 1 tblspn vegetable oil
    • 475 g (8 dl) flour

      Process:
    1. Pour boiling water over wholemeal flour and leave for 1 hour.
    2. Mix yeast in warm water and
    3. then mix with wholemeal mixture (yup, a lot of mixing!).
    4. Add 'ymer', salt and oil.
    5. Add flour and knead to a smooth dough.
    6. Let the dough rise (half an hour),
    7. knead again,
    8. form 20 buns,
    9. let the buns rise again (15 mins.).
    10. Have oven ready at 225 degrees C and bake for 20 minutes.

  • Chantal's (never-ending) chocolate cake
      Ingredients:
    • 200 g butter or margarine
    • 200 g (2½ dl) sugar
    • 3 eggs
    • 175 g (3 dl) flour
    • 2 teaspns baking powder
    • 35 g (1 dl) coconut flour
    • 50 g (1 dl) cocoa
    • 2 dl cream

      Process:
    1. Mix butter and sugar well.
    2. Mix in one egg yolk at a time - mix well!
    3. Don't throw away the egg whites - you need them too!
    4. Mix flour and baking powder together and
    5. then add coconut flour, cocoa and cream.
    6. Beat egg whites stiff.
    7. Mix 1/3 of the egg wihtes into dough to make it softer,
    8. then fold the rest of them in carefully.
    9. Dough into baking tin (25x35 cm).
    10. Oven 175 degrees C for about 35 mins.

  • Our two-way-trout
      Process:
      Make Erik gut the fish (maybe next time he'll catch it too)
    1. Poached trout
      1. Boil lots of water with salt and pepper
      2. put half a trout in and turn down to simmer
      3. simmer till it looks right (or ask Erik)
      4. eat with mashed spuds

    2. Grilled trout
      1. Stuff half a trout with bits of butter and orange
      2. wrap loosely in aluminium foil
      3. put onto a rack on glowing coals in the open fire
      4. leave till Erik says it's done
      5. eat with mashed spuds

  • Scooby-Doo on a fire
      Process:
    1. take fork
    2. stick a scooby-doo (some call them marshmallows) on the end
    3. rotate over the fire until it is light brown
    4. eat quick before it drips on the floor

  • Scooby-Doo on a lamp
      Process:
    1. take fork
    2. stick a scooby-doo (some call them marshmallows) on the end
    3. rotate over the lamp until it is light brown
    4. eat quick before it drips on the table cloth (what table cloth?)

  • Coffee a-la-Rob
      Process:
    1. put water in kettle and put on to boil
    2. cuddle Hild
    3. when boiling add coffee and turn heat off
    4. cuddle Hild
    5. after about 5 minutes pour into a cup and check for taste

  • Erik's Liquorice vodka
      Process:
    1. Buy cheapest vodka around.
    2. Pour away ¼ into another container for later use
    3. Replace empty space with Tyrkisk Peber (salty liquorice.. you haven't lived if you haven't tried them)
    4. Drink quickly as soon as the sweets have dissolved.

  • Husholdningssaft
      Process:
    1. Take bottle from cupboard and remove cap
    2. pour small amount into glass
    3. add water to taste

the Hytte Saga the Hytte Cookbook Nicknames Keywords

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Nicknames

Chantal:

Assistant fire manager; Willy Wonka; Kitchen manager; Trumpeteer

Erik:

Fish manager; Bootlegger; Sheep dog; (double) Nelson

Hild:

Pack horse; Hopalong; Ski boss; Hytte nisse; Giggler; Old Economist; Slave driver; Hotdog basher; Poker shark

Mynd:

The grunter (word conservationist); Dishwasher; Cleaning manager; Birthday baby; Uno queen; Ski chick

Nicolaj:

Fire manager; The last boy scout; Mr Bobil; Dancing queen; "munitions" manager

Rob:

Fakler manager; Coffee maker; Nadia Commaneci; Ski-track wrecker (hole maker); Filler of oil-lamps


the Hytte Saga the Hytte Cookbook Nicknames Keywords

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Keywords

In no particular order - to show the chaos that prevailed...


Food related (surprise me!)
  • Whisky in hip-flask (Hild had two swigs!)
  • Kvikk Lunch (i.e. Kit Kat).
  • Cancelling crate of beer ordered from Valle Handel.
  • Jumilla wine (red) - yum.
  • How to make two pronged sausage sticks.
  • How to make your eyes water (try cook your lunch on the open fire under a rock at 1100 m altitude).
  • Dinner at Bykle Gjestegard (Rob and Hild unbearable remembering the wedding).
  • Potato sticks, Sørlandschips and peanuts.
  • Jolebrus (Xmas Bruce)
  • Norwegian shot glasses (egg cups) in Swedish colours.
  • Rob (and Hild) making coffee.
  • Frozen rømme (sour cream) and cucumber.
  • Vodka in the Jameson bottle.
  • Whisky in the Pepsi Max bottle.
  • Dinner at Ingunn and Einar's (Alvaro explaining the concept of 'Spark' as an excellent mode of transporation)

Indoor Activity related
  • Uno from the sun goes down til it comes up (loooong) - reverse, skip and draw 20 - double shuffle game.
  • 20 questions, Charades and Maxi-Yatzee.
  • Snakes and Ladders.
  • Norwegian Trivial Pursuit - The men claimed victory ( Hild knows all the questions now - so be warned).
  • The "who's the nerd today" game (subsequently renamed Millhouse)
  • Rubics cube and foamy puzzle things (Cube-it!)
  • Chicken Run and Harrison Ford on DVD.
  • Reader's Digest... great (?) story.
  • Hild claiming to be a poker novice while wiping the floor with the rest of the party (i.e. winning all the mactch sticks - well not Erik's. Come again?!).
  • Lost (and later found): watch, address book, 3rd glove, wallet (all by Hild).
  • Erik's moving torch (Rob's mischief).
  • Rob continuously singing his hair on candles/lamps.
  • Sauna and spa full of dishy German girls.
  • Einar showing off trophies of near-extinct animals.
  • Mynd and Erik doing double Nelsons (heheh).

Outdoor Activity related
  • Ice scating including pirouette.
  • Down hill skiing (sitting).
  • Horse riding.
  • Rob and Hild being towed on skiis behind a snow scooter.
  • Hild lying facing backward on the sled of a snow scooter.
  • Toboggan for pulling supplies & makeshift ski for Hild.
  • Running round fakler.
  • Rob's frozen beard outside, Erik's frozen hair swimming in the outdoor pool.
    Nicolaj's playtime: sliding the car
  • Mynd's second midnight ski -without a fall.
  • Floating sauna (A possible new business idea).
  • Spark (Alvaro's prime mode of transport).
  • Sheep, horses, rabbits, rams, mice, dogs, cat (lazy), Alvaro (the slave and shifter of horse manure).
  • Two midnight skiis.

Music related
  • Top 100 list: Tommy Steiner (no 3), Britney Spears (no 2), Eminem (no 1) - Disco night!!!
  • Auld Lang Syne
  • Wordless Danish Anthem by Chantal and Nicolaj (the actions were good though).
  • Trumpet raves and jams.
  • Can Can dance-off (men claimed victory... again).
  • Rob using blow-streamers for his Jackson five impersonation.
 Places we now love(?)
  • Valle Handel - shop of the year + popular calendar.
  • Vinmonopol (will survive for another 6 months after our visit - but not for lack of trying, eh Erik?).
  • Linjedalen - the place to ski/be.
  • Hovden Skisenter - enough fun to split your pants.
  • Badeland - open air swim water + 20, air -20.
  • Janet and Olav's: Lifesaving showers
  • Janet and Olav's: Clothes washing (unless your name was Erik and had packed for a month!)
  • Janet and Olav's: Trouser fixing

Quotes
  • Hild: "Det va laitt do ikkje konne kåme!", Marta: "Jaaaaa!".
  • Heard in the bedroom late at night: Rob: "Do you want to be on top?", Hild: "Yes" while climbing into the bottom bunk, Erik and Mynd with worried faces and much sniggering.
  • Heard on the train from Kristiansand to Oslo: Erik: "I'm bored", Rob: "I've got an old Economist here, but she's asleep".
  • Helge-the-6-year-old: "I'm too embarrassed to say anything, so I'll just say goodbye....".
  • Mynd: "Two dollar - special price for you - pretty lady".
  • "Those who aren't jumping want to live in Valle" (Rob and Mynd dindn't understand Danish and sat still....).
  • "Who's knocking on the door Hild!?" (you had to be in the train cabin to find this one funny at all ....)
  • Before going to the toilet: "Is your journey really necessary" (remember petrol shortages?).
  • Nicolaj: Bobil and Panelhøne
  • Rob: 'Darling' down graded to 'my woman'.
  • Chantal and Nicolaj (can't/shouldn't be translated): "Piss mig i øret', 'For helvede mand', 'Ta dig sammen mand', 'Hvad laver du mand'.
  • Rob & Erik: "We will return in the summer to help with the floating sauna and the German girls."

Challenges
  • Car stuck in snow drift.
  • How to gather dry wood in the dead of winter (not very successful).
  • Sitting in a ring (fiasco).
  • Stiff water tap.
  • Chantal and Mynd the first-time cross-country skiiers.
  • Shop til you drop in the local silver smith.
  • Rob confusing Hild and Mynd (ouch!).
  • Modern skiis that didn't work in the freezing temperatures.
  • 4-hour guided tour of Oslo after shopping hours.
  • Getting up at 8 am on New Years Day..... now that's a first!
  • Mobile phone which only works while standing on the couch in Erik's-used-to-be-Olav's corner (that's Nokia for you).
  • Socks sticking to the side of the chimney (fun or disgusting?).
  • Very slippery floor in the toilet.

Didn't know where to put these ones....
  • Newspaper-in-a-bag to keep your bum warm in the snow.
  • Tomte bloss, Stjernekaster, Stjerneskudd, Sparklers.
  • Other people's fireworks.
  • Chucking sparklers and chocolate cake.
  • 2000 2000s (all over the floor and food - will remain in the Hytte forever!).
  • Testing non-flamable blow-streamers.
  • Testing flamable Kransekake-jokes.
  • Føtex countdown candles 18.00 to 00.00. (we lit it at 17.00 sharp and it worked perfectly)
  • Lampoil to last another millennium if Rob doesn't spill it all.
  • Toilet seat to remember.
  • Fire wood delivered by snow scooter on New Years eve.
  • Mynd the cleaner paid also to pose as Rob and Hild's friend (as they don't have many).
  • NY shave by Erik - not Rob.

Chantal, Erik, Hild, Mynd, Nicolaj and Rob

December 2000 - January 2001

the Hytte Saga the Hytte Cookbook Nicknames Keywords

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